Random Thoughts...: 02/01/2007 - 03/01/2007


Friday, February 23, 2007

Memories. ahh memories... its something that cant me touched, but can be felt everywhere. Everything you see around springs up a memory or two. during the coarse of life, not all memories gained are happy. but even the happy memories tend to hurt you.

all good things come to an end, and what your left with are its memories. four years of university were some good days. had the most fun i have ever had in my life yet. we can talk about those days for hours and hours and still the events and the situations that took place wont end.

they say the happiest of memories can be something that can keep a person living, something to hang on to when all comes lose. but its the same memories that makes you pain. here today, gone tomorrow...

we meet alot of people in our lives. alot. you befriend some. you fall in love with some. but people tend to move on. in search of better things. but what exactly makes something better than others? its how you look at it. somethings may be mere a way of life for some, for others its the most horrific thing to do. its just how you look at it. being right or wrong is relative.

someone once told me, think of the happy memories and you'll be alright. all this ever did was make me depressed. lol. this makes me a sad person. i cant forget people that i spent some time with. do those people remember me too? i'll never know. you come alone, you go alone. all you leave behind are memories.

memories are knives, it can hurt you.

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Why live? when your dead inside...

i feel dead inside. very dead. i had an interview today... it didnt go that well and i dont give a fuck about it lol. i should though :p

Monday, February 19, 2007

and yes, the new interface thingy, it sucks! even if its my crappy internet, it still sucks!
I have been looking forward to weekends past few weeks. mostly because i have nothing to do at home at night, weekend is the only night when i go out with friends, and time just flys by. even if its just sitting around and talking. and occasionally picking on someone :p

its sad that the National Shipping Corporation building has been burning since 9am. its pathetic actually, because after all these years we dont have the proper equipment to extinguish fires in a building above the 10th floor. its the basic things we lack here. they are planning to build high rises and here they cant extinguish a fire on a building, like paah!

i believe that necessities should be given priorities over luxury. hell everyone does. they are spending billions in obscure over passes running all around the city, high rises, huge parks etc..lower class people dont give a shit nor will it make their lives any better... while there are areas with no proper roads, lack of fresh water, low literacy, lawlessness and the list just goes on and on. why not concentrate on the necessities of today than trying to grasp the luxuries of tomorrow.

the rich continue to grow richer, and the poor poorer. the middle class is soon to disappear and join the upper or lower class.

Saturday, February 17, 2007

I cant get enough of this non-alcoholic malt beverage or... well.. beer you can say. Everyone I know hates it though. They cant even taste it. But I simply love it. May be partly because its bitter. I have developed a knack for bitterness. its funny though. when i was little, i used to have alot of sweets and 'sugary' things. like quite a lot of it. and now... well.. now i hardly have anything sweet anymore. i have just lost taste for it.

kher... I'm not pissed anymore though. instead i have grown numb to everything happening around me. i still don't have a job :/ its been over a month since unishitty ended. results aren't out either. I'm seriously doubting if four years of unishitty was worth it here.

On a brighter note, my head is empty right now. no random thoughts going about and stuff... its kinda hard to explain, but its kind of good. nothing more to 'blog' about.

Thursday, February 15, 2007

This day was one of the most suckiest day of my life... life was getting shittier day by day, but the shit factor just crossed the limits today.

During the coarse of life, one faces many harsh realities of life. all of which add to the experience of one's mind so not to repeat the same mistakes twice... and your just stupid to repeat the same mistake twice. but being human, your bound to make em anyways. its just how it is.

One of the harsh realities of life is... nice guy finishes last. there is no place for nice people in this 'world'. you might argue this notion, but unless you did'nt notice; no one gives a fuck?... at one point or another, people will take advantage of the 'nice' guy. people will keep doing that coz its just easy to do. its these points in one's life that makes him change his perception of life. in the beginning, life is quite straight forward. in his naiveness, everything is so beautiful and so innocent like himself.... then shit happens, and he is compelled to think otherwise. think... what if its not like that. what if its a lie. still he tries to maintain his order of thoughts... but then shit happens again. and again. till he doesn't know what to think. that is when a person is lost. lost for words. lost for thoughts.

One should always have good intentions. one should. but does the other person have the same? apparently, these days, not. its a materialistic world out there. no place for morals and ethics. hell people might discourage these entities from society.

right now im pissed. i've been pissed for some days now, but this day just did it. i dont care much about money. really i dont. its here today, gone tomorrow. so what is the sense of getting crazy over it? what pissed me today was that there is no decency left in people anymore. they just want it all, and they want it the fast way. shortcut as to say. people will do anything for it. 'anything'. and sadly it is money that makes the world go around these days.

I missed by sister's surprise birthday party because of the incident today :( and that pissed me off even more.

right now i want to be anywhere but here. life has changed me drastically. and im just afraid that i'll change into something that i have always hated.

i used to think, people move away from me. its not like that. its me who push them away. after all, so many people cant be wrong.

i was dead tired when i finally came home. that was five hours ago. but i couldnt sleep. i was just too pissed to sleep, or to do anything else for that matter. and now that i have unloaded some thoughts, hopefully i might sleep a while. though i still have alot of random thoughts boggling up my head. i cant put them to words. i dont know how to. and yes. Happy fucking Valentine's day.


Sunday, February 11, 2007

i did some changes to my blog :D but it still isnt the way i want it :/ i seem to have forgotten how to use frontpage :| i think im going dumb day by day.. and that isnt good. i didnt go through four years of unishitty for this damnit!

nothing much is going on these days though apart from the fact that windows vista zaleeled my PC :(

i need a change. any kind of change. change is good. but its not in my nature to change.. i dont change that easily, nor do i want to change. which leads me back to where i began... no where :p i tend to mumble in this particular state of mind. and still i can never speak my mind. i will never talk about everything that on my mind. i just cant. i like to keep it inside than to spill my beans to someone else who wont be around tomorrow. i have seen to many people leave so i guess somewhere in my head, i have decided that every person i meet will just go away one day.

i had this jaali folder in my cell phone with all kind of quotes, dialogues and single-liners. i lost them all though when my cell went for repairs :/

in the end, let me just get this out of my head...
Human Beings are designed for many things... but loneliness is not one of them.

Thursday, February 08, 2007

i cant forget people. i just cant. nor can i let em go that easily. and that is just sad...