Sunday, March 25, 2007
Sunday, March 18, 2007
Sunday, March 11, 2007
sometimes talking to an absolute stranger even does the trick. all you want is to unload all the thoughts trapped inside doesnt matter who you unload to, as long as its not trapped inside anymore.
These days acting like a Messiah to others has more down sides and up. its better to mind one's own business and get on with life and expect others to do the same.
These days acting like a Messiah to others has more down sides and up. its better to mind one's own business and get on with life and expect others to do the same.
Tuesday, March 06, 2007
Just something i came across...
Close your eyes..... And go back in time.... Before the Internet, VCD and DVD. Before semi-automatics machine guns, joyriders and crack .... Before SEGA or Super Nintendo or Video Games... Way back.... I'm talking about Hide and seek (Chhupan Chhupaee) in the park or on the streets. The corner shop, Butter Scotch Candy, Mitchells Milk Toffee, Jubilee,football with an old can, hockey, cricket and Pittu with the same ball. jumping in enormous puddles, Building dams. The smell of the sun and fresh cut grass.Mayfair bubble gum. A POLKA ice cream pop cone on a warm summer night,Wait......Watching Weekday 5pm evening or Saturday Morning cartoons... short commercials, The Tom and Jerry, He-Man, Captain Caveman, Waltron, Walligator, DangerMouse and Pink Panther.Staying up late for Night Rider, Air Wolf or Power of Methew Star. Watching nice Urdu Plays like Un Kahi, Tanhaiyaan, Sunehray Din, Aangan Tera. Walking to school, no matter what the weather. Running till you were out of breath. Laughing so hard that your stomach hurt. Jumping on the bed. Pillow fights. Climbing trees, having gola ganda stealing unripe mangoes (Karrie) from the neighbour's tree . Spinning around, getting dizzy and falling down wascause for the giggles. Being tired from playing... Remember that? The worst embarrassment was being picked last for a team. Water balloons were the ultimate weapon. I'm not finished just yet... Eating raw jelly, orange squash, ice pops.Remember when... You knew everyone in your street - and so did your parents! It wasn't odd to have two or three "best" friends. You didn't sleep a wink on EiD Chaand Raat. When 100 Rs. was decent pocket money. When you'd get a coke for 4Rs. When nearly everyone's mum was at home when the kids got there from School.It was magic when dad would "remove" his thumb. When it was considered a great privilege to be taken out to dinner! At real restaurant with your parents.We were in fear for our lives, but it wasn't because of drive-by shootings,drugs, gangs, etc. Our parents and grandparents were a much bigger threat! And some of us are still afraid of them!!! Didn't that feel good? Just to go back and say, Yeah, I remember that! Remember when.... Decisions were made by going "eeny- meeny-miney-mo." "Race issue" meant arguing about who ran the fastest. Money issues were handled by whoever was the banker in "Monopoly". The worst thing you could catch from other person was germs, and the worst thing in your day was having to sit next to opposite sex. Having a weapon in school, meant being caught with a sling shot. Nobody was prettier than your Mom. Scrapes and bruises were kissed and made better. Taking drugs meant orange-flavoured chewable aspirin. Icecream was considered a basic food group. Getting a foot of snow ! was a dream come true. Abilities were discovered because of a "double-dare". Older siblings were the worst tormentors, but also the fiercest protectors. If you can remember most of these, then you have LIVED!!!
Close your eyes..... And go back in time.... Before the Internet, VCD and DVD. Before semi-automatics machine guns, joyriders and crack .... Before SEGA or Super Nintendo or Video Games... Way back.... I'm talking about Hide and seek (Chhupan Chhupaee) in the park or on the streets. The corner shop, Butter Scotch Candy, Mitchells Milk Toffee, Jubilee,football with an old can, hockey, cricket and Pittu with the same ball. jumping in enormous puddles, Building dams. The smell of the sun and fresh cut grass.Mayfair bubble gum. A POLKA ice cream pop cone on a warm summer night,Wait......Watching Weekday 5pm evening or Saturday Morning cartoons... short commercials, The Tom and Jerry, He-Man, Captain Caveman, Waltron, Walligator, DangerMouse and Pink Panther.Staying up late for Night Rider, Air Wolf or Power of Methew Star. Watching nice Urdu Plays like Un Kahi, Tanhaiyaan, Sunehray Din, Aangan Tera. Walking to school, no matter what the weather. Running till you were out of breath. Laughing so hard that your stomach hurt. Jumping on the bed. Pillow fights. Climbing trees, having gola ganda stealing unripe mangoes (Karrie) from the neighbour's tree . Spinning around, getting dizzy and falling down wascause for the giggles. Being tired from playing... Remember that? The worst embarrassment was being picked last for a team. Water balloons were the ultimate weapon. I'm not finished just yet... Eating raw jelly, orange squash, ice pops.Remember when... You knew everyone in your street - and so did your parents! It wasn't odd to have two or three "best" friends. You didn't sleep a wink on EiD Chaand Raat. When 100 Rs. was decent pocket money. When you'd get a coke for 4Rs. When nearly everyone's mum was at home when the kids got there from School.It was magic when dad would "remove" his thumb. When it was considered a great privilege to be taken out to dinner! At real restaurant with your parents.We were in fear for our lives, but it wasn't because of drive-by shootings,drugs, gangs, etc. Our parents and grandparents were a much bigger threat! And some of us are still afraid of them!!! Didn't that feel good? Just to go back and say, Yeah, I remember that! Remember when.... Decisions were made by going "eeny- meeny-miney-mo." "Race issue" meant arguing about who ran the fastest. Money issues were handled by whoever was the banker in "Monopoly". The worst thing you could catch from other person was germs, and the worst thing in your day was having to sit next to opposite sex. Having a weapon in school, meant being caught with a sling shot. Nobody was prettier than your Mom. Scrapes and bruises were kissed and made better. Taking drugs meant orange-flavoured chewable aspirin. Icecream was considered a basic food group. Getting a foot of snow ! was a dream come true. Abilities were discovered because of a "double-dare". Older siblings were the worst tormentors, but also the fiercest protectors. If you can remember most of these, then you have LIVED!!!
Monday, March 05, 2007
Sunday, March 04, 2007
there is something very wrong with this blogger thingy :| it refuses to sign in when i want to actually blog :/ anyways... after like a month of streaks of bad luck with my car, i finally decided to let the darn thing go. so i sold the car and lost 1 lac :( but its kinda good though. its like this weight has been removed from my head. but i shall miss my car... but not when im driving the other car :p
it was my birthday, according to the hijri calender, yesterday.. and the day went quite well. fun even.
i cant think of anything else to blog about right now :p
it was my birthday, according to the hijri calender, yesterday.. and the day went quite well. fun even.
i cant think of anything else to blog about right now :p
Friday, February 23, 2007
Memories. ahh memories... its something that cant me touched, but can be felt everywhere. Everything you see around springs up a memory or two. during the coarse of life, not all memories gained are happy. but even the happy memories tend to hurt you.
all good things come to an end, and what your left with are its memories. four years of university were some good days. had the most fun i have ever had in my life yet. we can talk about those days for hours and hours and still the events and the situations that took place wont end.
they say the happiest of memories can be something that can keep a person living, something to hang on to when all comes lose. but its the same memories that makes you pain. here today, gone tomorrow...
we meet alot of people in our lives. alot. you befriend some. you fall in love with some. but people tend to move on. in search of better things. but what exactly makes something better than others? its how you look at it. somethings may be mere a way of life for some, for others its the most horrific thing to do. its just how you look at it. being right or wrong is relative.
someone once told me, think of the happy memories and you'll be alright. all this ever did was make me depressed. lol. this makes me a sad person. i cant forget people that i spent some time with. do those people remember me too? i'll never know. you come alone, you go alone. all you leave behind are memories.
memories are knives, it can hurt you.
all good things come to an end, and what your left with are its memories. four years of university were some good days. had the most fun i have ever had in my life yet. we can talk about those days for hours and hours and still the events and the situations that took place wont end.
they say the happiest of memories can be something that can keep a person living, something to hang on to when all comes lose. but its the same memories that makes you pain. here today, gone tomorrow...
we meet alot of people in our lives. alot. you befriend some. you fall in love with some. but people tend to move on. in search of better things. but what exactly makes something better than others? its how you look at it. somethings may be mere a way of life for some, for others its the most horrific thing to do. its just how you look at it. being right or wrong is relative.
someone once told me, think of the happy memories and you'll be alright. all this ever did was make me depressed. lol. this makes me a sad person. i cant forget people that i spent some time with. do those people remember me too? i'll never know. you come alone, you go alone. all you leave behind are memories.
memories are knives, it can hurt you.
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
Monday, February 19, 2007
I have been looking forward to weekends past few weeks. mostly because i have nothing to do at home at night, weekend is the only night when i go out with friends, and time just flys by. even if its just sitting around and talking. and occasionally picking on someone :p
its sad that the National Shipping Corporation building has been burning since 9am. its pathetic actually, because after all these years we dont have the proper equipment to extinguish fires in a building above the 10th floor. its the basic things we lack here. they are planning to build high rises and here they cant extinguish a fire on a building, like paah!
i believe that necessities should be given priorities over luxury. hell everyone does. they are spending billions in obscure over passes running all around the city, high rises, huge parks etc..lower class people dont give a shit nor will it make their lives any better... while there are areas with no proper roads, lack of fresh water, low literacy, lawlessness and the list just goes on and on. why not concentrate on the necessities of today than trying to grasp the luxuries of tomorrow.
the rich continue to grow richer, and the poor poorer. the middle class is soon to disappear and join the upper or lower class.
its sad that the National Shipping Corporation building has been burning since 9am. its pathetic actually, because after all these years we dont have the proper equipment to extinguish fires in a building above the 10th floor. its the basic things we lack here. they are planning to build high rises and here they cant extinguish a fire on a building, like paah!
i believe that necessities should be given priorities over luxury. hell everyone does. they are spending billions in obscure over passes running all around the city, high rises, huge parks etc..lower class people dont give a shit nor will it make their lives any better... while there are areas with no proper roads, lack of fresh water, low literacy, lawlessness and the list just goes on and on. why not concentrate on the necessities of today than trying to grasp the luxuries of tomorrow.
the rich continue to grow richer, and the poor poorer. the middle class is soon to disappear and join the upper or lower class.
Saturday, February 17, 2007
I cant get enough of this non-alcoholic malt beverage or... well.. beer you can say. Everyone I know hates it though. They cant even taste it. But I simply love it. May be partly because its bitter. I have developed a knack for bitterness. its funny though. when i was little, i used to have alot of sweets and 'sugary' things. like quite a lot of it. and now... well.. now i hardly have anything sweet anymore. i have just lost taste for it.
kher... I'm not pissed anymore though. instead i have grown numb to everything happening around me. i still don't have a job :/ its been over a month since unishitty ended. results aren't out either. I'm seriously doubting if four years of unishitty was worth it here.
On a brighter note, my head is empty right now. no random thoughts going about and stuff... its kinda hard to explain, but its kind of good. nothing more to 'blog' about.
kher... I'm not pissed anymore though. instead i have grown numb to everything happening around me. i still don't have a job :/ its been over a month since unishitty ended. results aren't out either. I'm seriously doubting if four years of unishitty was worth it here.
On a brighter note, my head is empty right now. no random thoughts going about and stuff... its kinda hard to explain, but its kind of good. nothing more to 'blog' about.
Thursday, February 15, 2007
This day was one of the most suckiest day of my life... life was getting shittier day by day, but the shit factor just crossed the limits today.
During the coarse of life, one faces many harsh realities of life. all of which add to the experience of one's mind so not to repeat the same mistakes twice... and your just stupid to repeat the same mistake twice. but being human, your bound to make em anyways. its just how it is.
One of the harsh realities of life is... nice guy finishes last. there is no place for nice people in this 'world'. you might argue this notion, but unless you did'nt notice; no one gives a fuck?... at one point or another, people will take advantage of the 'nice' guy. people will keep doing that coz its just easy to do. its these points in one's life that makes him change his perception of life. in the beginning, life is quite straight forward. in his naiveness, everything is so beautiful and so innocent like himself.... then shit happens, and he is compelled to think otherwise. think... what if its not like that. what if its a lie. still he tries to maintain his order of thoughts... but then shit happens again. and again. till he doesn't know what to think. that is when a person is lost. lost for words. lost for thoughts.
One should always have good intentions. one should. but does the other person have the same? apparently, these days, not. its a materialistic world out there. no place for morals and ethics. hell people might discourage these entities from society.
right now im pissed. i've been pissed for some days now, but this day just did it. i dont care much about money. really i dont. its here today, gone tomorrow. so what is the sense of getting crazy over it? what pissed me today was that there is no decency left in people anymore. they just want it all, and they want it the fast way. shortcut as to say. people will do anything for it. 'anything'. and sadly it is money that makes the world go around these days.
I missed by sister's surprise birthday party because of the incident today :( and that pissed me off even more.
right now i want to be anywhere but here. life has changed me drastically. and im just afraid that i'll change into something that i have always hated.
i used to think, people move away from me. its not like that. its me who push them away. after all, so many people cant be wrong.
i was dead tired when i finally came home. that was five hours ago. but i couldnt sleep. i was just too pissed to sleep, or to do anything else for that matter. and now that i have unloaded some thoughts, hopefully i might sleep a while. though i still have alot of random thoughts boggling up my head. i cant put them to words. i dont know how to. and yes. Happy fucking Valentine's day.
During the coarse of life, one faces many harsh realities of life. all of which add to the experience of one's mind so not to repeat the same mistakes twice... and your just stupid to repeat the same mistake twice. but being human, your bound to make em anyways. its just how it is.
One of the harsh realities of life is... nice guy finishes last. there is no place for nice people in this 'world'. you might argue this notion, but unless you did'nt notice; no one gives a fuck?... at one point or another, people will take advantage of the 'nice' guy. people will keep doing that coz its just easy to do. its these points in one's life that makes him change his perception of life. in the beginning, life is quite straight forward. in his naiveness, everything is so beautiful and so innocent like himself.... then shit happens, and he is compelled to think otherwise. think... what if its not like that. what if its a lie. still he tries to maintain his order of thoughts... but then shit happens again. and again. till he doesn't know what to think. that is when a person is lost. lost for words. lost for thoughts.
One should always have good intentions. one should. but does the other person have the same? apparently, these days, not. its a materialistic world out there. no place for morals and ethics. hell people might discourage these entities from society.
right now im pissed. i've been pissed for some days now, but this day just did it. i dont care much about money. really i dont. its here today, gone tomorrow. so what is the sense of getting crazy over it? what pissed me today was that there is no decency left in people anymore. they just want it all, and they want it the fast way. shortcut as to say. people will do anything for it. 'anything'. and sadly it is money that makes the world go around these days.
I missed by sister's surprise birthday party because of the incident today :( and that pissed me off even more.
right now i want to be anywhere but here. life has changed me drastically. and im just afraid that i'll change into something that i have always hated.
i used to think, people move away from me. its not like that. its me who push them away. after all, so many people cant be wrong.
i was dead tired when i finally came home. that was five hours ago. but i couldnt sleep. i was just too pissed to sleep, or to do anything else for that matter. and now that i have unloaded some thoughts, hopefully i might sleep a while. though i still have alot of random thoughts boggling up my head. i cant put them to words. i dont know how to. and yes. Happy fucking Valentine's day.
Sunday, February 11, 2007
i did some changes to my blog :D but it still isnt the way i want it :/ i seem to have forgotten how to use frontpage :| i think im going dumb day by day.. and that isnt good. i didnt go through four years of unishitty for this damnit!
nothing much is going on these days though apart from the fact that windows vista zaleeled my PC :(
i need a change. any kind of change. change is good. but its not in my nature to change.. i dont change that easily, nor do i want to change. which leads me back to where i began... no where :p i tend to mumble in this particular state of mind. and still i can never speak my mind. i will never talk about everything that on my mind. i just cant. i like to keep it inside than to spill my beans to someone else who wont be around tomorrow. i have seen to many people leave so i guess somewhere in my head, i have decided that every person i meet will just go away one day.
i had this jaali folder in my cell phone with all kind of quotes, dialogues and single-liners. i lost them all though when my cell went for repairs :/
in the end, let me just get this out of my head...
Human Beings are designed for many things... but loneliness is not one of them.
nothing much is going on these days though apart from the fact that windows vista zaleeled my PC :(
i need a change. any kind of change. change is good. but its not in my nature to change.. i dont change that easily, nor do i want to change. which leads me back to where i began... no where :p i tend to mumble in this particular state of mind. and still i can never speak my mind. i will never talk about everything that on my mind. i just cant. i like to keep it inside than to spill my beans to someone else who wont be around tomorrow. i have seen to many people leave so i guess somewhere in my head, i have decided that every person i meet will just go away one day.
i had this jaali folder in my cell phone with all kind of quotes, dialogues and single-liners. i lost them all though when my cell went for repairs :/
in the end, let me just get this out of my head...
Human Beings are designed for many things... but loneliness is not one of them.
Thursday, February 08, 2007
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
Tuesday, January 16, 2007
i hate this feeling of worthless-ness :/ day in day out its the same and damn im bored :| when it was unishitty had no time to do anything else.. now i cant find that 'anything else' that i so wanted to do :p
the thing i dont get (although there alot of other things i dont get but lets not go there as of yet :p) is why my PC refuses to stay alive for more than 6 months :/ i see my friend's PCs working flawlessly for years and then i look at mine. afraid of even moving it that it might break down :p
i cant think of anything else to 'blog' about right now.. may be later. right now im just too bored :/
the thing i dont get (although there alot of other things i dont get but lets not go there as of yet :p) is why my PC refuses to stay alive for more than 6 months :/ i see my friend's PCs working flawlessly for years and then i look at mine. afraid of even moving it that it might break down :p
i cant think of anything else to 'blog' about right now.. may be later. right now im just too bored :/
Monday, January 15, 2007
somewhat a year since i posted last. i kind of lost interest in blogging, though i know it quite well how its a place to unburden my thoughts. well thats how i am, suddenly i lose interest in stuff... but i keep thinking about it.
nothing has changed much, apart from the fact that im done with my bachelors, awaiting results though.
hanging out with friends really gives you peace of mind... even if most of the time we'r argueing about one thing or another :P i have some great laughs with friends... but laughing alot has its downside.. when your alone, you feel like shit :| dont know why, its just how it is.
its a new year. a new beginning. thus it should mark the end of the 'old' me and start of a 'new' me. doesnt make much sense to you... but its crystal clear to me :)
i still dont get it. why do people i know so well, just dissappear from my life :/ or may be i never knew them at all. quite alot of random thoughts :p
i need to get a job. i know that, but still people keep telling me that :/ it quite annyoing now. four years of unishitty and im sitting home, because suddenly people decided that the market for electronic engineers is saturated :/ but i havent lost hope, as the 'shareef' way isnt working... ima pull some strings. thats how this country works.
after 3 years away from saudia, ive come to realise how i loved that place :( how i would give anything for a visit. though i doubt if i would like to live there again. because quite frankly its boring there.. but what i miss is the peace... the Umrahs.. how i miss those Eids in Makkah :( for 18 years, without a miss, i spent the Eid-ul-Fitr in Makkah. most of the Riyadhians would be there.. and it was so much fun. i just didnt realise that when i was there. you dont realise alot of things untill you dont have it anymore :/ its human nature. it sucks though!
everyone i meet assumes that i'll be getting engaged soon. or they just tell me to get engaged now that im farigh from unishitty. as intriguing as it may sound :p i dont want to.
i wana get a job. i want all the luxuries i had back in saudia.. i wana give my parents all the luxuries they had in saudia. they were there most of their lives, they've become used to them. and i shall one day INSHALLAH give all that back to them. from all those who walked away from my life, one thing is for sure... my parents wont be one of them. beautiful people they are. just beautiful :)
enough for a come back blog :p
till we meet again
may the force be with you :D
nothing has changed much, apart from the fact that im done with my bachelors, awaiting results though.
hanging out with friends really gives you peace of mind... even if most of the time we'r argueing about one thing or another :P i have some great laughs with friends... but laughing alot has its downside.. when your alone, you feel like shit :| dont know why, its just how it is.
its a new year. a new beginning. thus it should mark the end of the 'old' me and start of a 'new' me. doesnt make much sense to you... but its crystal clear to me :)
i still dont get it. why do people i know so well, just dissappear from my life :/ or may be i never knew them at all. quite alot of random thoughts :p
i need to get a job. i know that, but still people keep telling me that :/ it quite annyoing now. four years of unishitty and im sitting home, because suddenly people decided that the market for electronic engineers is saturated :/ but i havent lost hope, as the 'shareef' way isnt working... ima pull some strings. thats how this country works.
after 3 years away from saudia, ive come to realise how i loved that place :( how i would give anything for a visit. though i doubt if i would like to live there again. because quite frankly its boring there.. but what i miss is the peace... the Umrahs.. how i miss those Eids in Makkah :( for 18 years, without a miss, i spent the Eid-ul-Fitr in Makkah. most of the Riyadhians would be there.. and it was so much fun. i just didnt realise that when i was there. you dont realise alot of things untill you dont have it anymore :/ its human nature. it sucks though!
everyone i meet assumes that i'll be getting engaged soon. or they just tell me to get engaged now that im farigh from unishitty. as intriguing as it may sound :p i dont want to.
i wana get a job. i want all the luxuries i had back in saudia.. i wana give my parents all the luxuries they had in saudia. they were there most of their lives, they've become used to them. and i shall one day INSHALLAH give all that back to them. from all those who walked away from my life, one thing is for sure... my parents wont be one of them. beautiful people they are. just beautiful :)
enough for a come back blog :p
till we meet again
may the force be with you :D
Sunday, February 05, 2006
friends come and go, its family that sticks with you be it high or low. they dont leave.. well normally they dont that is.
death is something you cant look away from. like it or not, its there. its inevitible (spellings?) life should unveil on its own... rushing it will just rip it apart.
Death shall set us free!
death is something you cant look away from. like it or not, its there. its inevitible (spellings?) life should unveil on its own... rushing it will just rip it apart.
Death shall set us free!