This day was one of the most suckiest day of my life... life was getting shittier day by day, but the shit factor just crossed the limits today.

During the coarse of life, one faces many harsh realities of life. all of which add to the experience of one's mind so not to repeat the same mistakes twice... and your just stupid to repeat the same mistake twice. but being human, your bound to make em anyways. its just how it is.

One of the harsh realities of life is... nice guy finishes last. there is no place for nice people in this 'world'. you might argue this notion, but unless you did'nt notice; no one gives a fuck?... at one point or another, people will take advantage of the 'nice' guy. people will keep doing that coz its just easy to do. its these points in one's life that makes him change his perception of life. in the beginning, life is quite straight forward. in his naiveness, everything is so beautiful and so innocent like himself.... then shit happens, and he is compelled to think otherwise. think... what if its not like that. what if its a lie. still he tries to maintain his order of thoughts... but then shit happens again. and again. till he doesn't know what to think. that is when a person is lost. lost for words. lost for thoughts.

One should always have good intentions. one should. but does the other person have the same? apparently, these days, not. its a materialistic world out there. no place for morals and ethics. hell people might discourage these entities from society.

right now im pissed. i've been pissed for some days now, but this day just did it. i dont care much about money. really i dont. its here today, gone tomorrow. so what is the sense of getting crazy over it? what pissed me today was that there is no decency left in people anymore. they just want it all, and they want it the fast way. shortcut as to say. people will do anything for it. 'anything'. and sadly it is money that makes the world go around these days.

I missed by sister's surprise birthday party because of the incident today :( and that pissed me off even more.


right now i want to be anywhere but here. life has changed me drastically. and im just afraid that i'll change into something that i have always hated.

i used to think, people move away from me. its not like that. its me who push them away. after all, so many people cant be wrong.

i was dead tired when i finally came home. that was five hours ago. but i couldnt sleep. i was just too pissed to sleep, or to do anything else for that matter. and now that i have unloaded some thoughts, hopefully i might sleep a while. though i still have alot of random thoughts boggling up my head. i cant put them to words. i dont know how to. and yes. Happy fucking Valentine's day.