Jaali Adventures... Journey back home.

08:01
so the train is only 1.5 hours late :/ due to some major mix up at the admin side in the office we are forced to take a crappy train home or to do eid at Lahore :@

08:15
had an omelet and two slices of bread breakfast for rs 55/- and it was a chicken egg :/

11:11
freakn train is stopping at every possible station :| according to the scedule were are to reach khi by 01:30 but the way this train is moving that is very unlikely :/

11:32
my feet are warm again :D yes it is something to be happy about considering my feet were cold throughout the week :/

11:56
as soon as the train stops some weirdo gets in to sell something. And this train dining guy comes along every 10 minutes to sell tea. Its creepy how much tea he is willing to pour down people's belly :|

13:11
restrooms in a train are bad enough to leave you shitless for a week *nods* :| note to self... Restroom is not worth getting killed over nor leaving your self shitless untill you get over the after effects of the horrorific images that are scorched at the back of the head while in the enclosed space of 2x2 :|

19:30
me and my friend decided to take a stroll around the train and eat something on the 'resturant on wheels'. As cool as it sounds it was actually very crappy. Ive seen pathan hotels better than that :p so we ate and made our way to our seats. Upon reaching there we found a mid 40s guy sitting there talking on his cell and eating peanuts :/ i told the guy nicely that its my seat and want to sit there. The guy looks at me and says 'haan baith jao' i sat thinking that he would move after he hangs up. So he kept yapping on the phone for another 10 minutes. Finally he hung up. Then he looks at me and offers me peanuts. In like wtf :s and stared at him. He kept eating his peanuts, after a while he was out of peanuts. Finally now he would get up. But no :/ he started making small talk with me. My friend looks at me and goes like what is his problem. I asked him nicely that its my seat and if he would kindly get off it. He refused and goes like 'kya kar logay' :| i was about to punch him in the face but my friend interveiend and talked him off the seat. It turns out that the guy was actually the train driver or whatever its called in train-rank and he was just playing around to pass time :/ I swear i was so pissed at him.

20:32
train stopped at Rorhi/sukkur. My friend got off here. Now its 6 more hours to khi alone :( tomorrow is such a hectic day ahead :/ the force is on longer with me. Someone took the force and flushed it down the drain :/

01:32
khi is no where near and i was supposed to be in khi at this time :@

04:28
Karachi AHOOYY!! :D the train has reached the outskirts of khi...soon this nightmare will be over :/

05:33
home sweet home :D

-mobile2blog

Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times, it's enemy action.

Jaali Adventures, Search for civilization...

We get off work, me and my friend, around 6ish after which there is nothing to do :/ the office and company residence is in area called Thokar Niaz Biag. Its like a total residential area. Civilization to me is like when i see shops and resturants around. So today me and my friend decide to embark on a holy mission to find civilization. Mysteriously there are no taxis in lahore..i havnt seen one yet :p after dark the whole area becomes creepy and quiet. We started walking to search for a rickshaw or a bus or something. We walked and walked and walked. Hell we walked alot untill we actually found a genuine bus stop..ALAS! A sign of civilization! We took a sigh of relief that yes people do actually live here and this area isnt just filled with endless houses and dead people :/ its quite cold here, it is to me atleast :/ after a while standing on the stop a bus came. A real life bus :D we boarded the bus and sat down. We didnt know where the bus was headed though. After inquiring from the conductor we found out that the bus wasnt headed anywhere..no where important atleast :/ kher we sat there for some 20 minutes.. It had to pass thru somewhere with shops and resturants..emphasis on resturants coz we were hungry and quite bored :/ we were looking keenly on both sides of the roads for some sign of civilization.. Just something.. Anything :| after some 40 minutes i saw lights... Could it be? Was it a figment of my imagination.. Was i going mad from all the cold? No it was.. It actually was civilization :D all with resturants and stuff. Immediately jumping off our seats we rushed to the door to get out. The conductor was standing there..coz thats his place.. We gave the poor dude a scare..he thought we were going to push him off the bus :p so we got off in an area called Icha Pul or something like that :s so we found civilization, had two different things to eat at two different resturants :D after walking around a bit we decided to get back. We found the stop for going back. A guy came to us and asked us if the bus would come this late :/ and it was only 10pm or so :| after like 10 minutes we saw a rickshaw coming our way... Not taking a chance that he wouldnt stop we stepped in the way so he had no choice but to stop :p we got in and went home freezing.

-mobile2blog

07:59
i woke up a couple of mins back from the crackling sound of the nimco packet. This dude has been eating nimco for the past hour or so :| dont know how someone can eat all that nimco :/

08:05
peek-a-boo :o and the guy from the train resturant asks if we want breakfast :/ so had breakfast which was quite decent. And now staring outside at lush green fields :D

08:20
train stopped at kanpur or something and there is no GPRS available here so cant send this blog right now :/ back to staring outside the window :p

10:15
just had a talk with the boss in Lahore. company car will be waiting for me outside the train station. i still have no idea where the train is right now or when will it reach lahore :/ the family in the next compartment are awake, and so has the crying baby :/ like all he does is cry :/ The guy in my compartment is asleep again. damn he sleeps alot :|

13:23
ive been playing pacman 2 hours straight :D pacman on this cell is crappy though. it looks and plays well on my older cellphone :/ the train is supposed to reach lahore by 2pm... or so the schedule says :|

14:10
the dude's awake and i asked him how long will it take till we reach Lahore... he said by 4pm :| man this so sucks.

15:07
just got a call from the office. apparently there is no confirm time when the train will reach the station so they had to call the company car back coz there was alot of outdoor work pending and the car was urgently in need. now i have to make my own way to the office :( i will be reimbursed though :p

16:03
still no Lahore :| and the dude is asleep once again. not that there is anything else to do. its better he's asleep though, or else i would have to talk to him... which I dont want to :p

17:30
Lahore cantt :D wooohooo! finally. now its only a couple of minutes to Lahore train station.

18:05
there is no space on the platform at the station :| man this so sucks :@ been sitting here since last 15 minutes or so :/

20:03
at the Karachi station there are like radio cab and metro cab services, so i thought it would be same in Lahore as well.. after walking around for like 15 minutes and asking 5-6 people, who by the way had no idea what i was talking abt, i came to the conclusion that there is no radio cab or anything of the sort here... yes im so smart :p

so i got into the nearest rickshaw and told him where i wanted to go and i asked specifically asked him if knew that area and he was like.. maslaa hee koi nahi hay.. lay jaingay. the rickshaw started and got stuck in the traffic jam :/ after a while the traffic cleared and we were on our merry way. on the way i was looking at the direction boards and stuff.. then a board came for where i wanted to go and he didnt turn there :/ i was like.. bhai jaan pechay murna tha.. and he was like.. oh acha. so he missed the turn and we had to take a u-turn from the next signal :S after that he missed the freaking turn again :| i was like bhai kiya hua kyun nahi mur rahay.. he said.. bhai app ko bhi sahee maloom nahi hay kaha jana hay. i was like.. dude look at the freakn board.. how more clear could it be. i directed him the way turn by turn... and i dont even live here :p kher finally reached the office and from there to the company residence. from my house in Karachi to the Residence in Lahore it took some 24 hrs.

Edited: 14.12.07

Jaali Adventures

21:01
reached the train station with parents (they refused to let their little boy go to outside karachi with seeing him off at the station :/) on time. After inquiring a very weird kooli about the where abouts of the train we reached the proper platform and to the right coach.

21:25
after sitting in the whole compartment all alone for a while came in a middle aged man. Asking if he was at the place. Without the ability to read minds it was kinda hard to tell if he was or not... So i asked for the ticket and like a pro i read the ticket and said yes this was the place..where as i had to ask around a alot of people to confirm if i was at the right place :p hey ive never travelled in a train before :/ so after a couple of mins another guy peeks in the compartment as if he was playing peek-a-boo with us coz he peeked in alot of times before he asked if we knew where his particular seat was..again like a pro i popped up from my seat to read his ticket and told him the way :D if this new job doesnt work out then i can surely start doing this..but i dont think anyone would pay me for the directions though :/ oh and there is a very noisy family next doors :s its a good thing the door is kinda sound proof :D which is a good thing and a very creepy thing too if you think about it *nods* :|

21:41
so i was sitting and talking to my parents and suddenly i felt the boggi moving...and it was. Parents said a quick goodbye and got off the train. Now the train is at full speed...

22:21
the guy in my comp is fast to sleep already lol. hope he doesnt snore :|
next stop Hyderabad. Stay tuned for the next episode of Adventures of Jaali in Pakiland.

-mobile2blog

testing

testing email to blogger thingy...

We all imagine ourselves the agents of our destiny, capable of determining our own fate. But have we truly any choice in when we rise? Or when we fall? Or does a force larger than ourselves bid us our direction? Is it evolution that takes us by the hand? Does science point our way? Or is it God who intervenes, keeping us safe?

When we embrace what lies within, our potential knows no limit. The future is filled with promise. The present, rife with expectation. But when we deny our instinct, and struggle against our deepest urges... Uncertainty begins. Where does this path lead? When will the changes end? Is this transformation a gift... or a curse? And for those that fear what lies ahead... The most important question of all... Can we ever change what we really are?

you think you know what to write, but when you start writing you stop thinking and you end up with staring at the screen with a blank face :/ ive been doing that for days now, thus explaining the reason for not blogging. thinking never does anyone any good. you start thinking and the next thing you know youre in deep poo. you think about something so much and somehow that thing does work out, your head gets screwed and youre in deep poo again. so after a while you learn a very valuable lesson.... that sooner or later you'll end up in deep poo. its poo for life. you should learn to accept poo. denial wont do any good... coz its poo, its there.. and it stinks. a valuable art you could master though would be to flush. flush thy poo. life keeps making you end up in poo.. so you should learn to flush that.. and move on.. to the next heep of crap. that is the way of life. living from poo to poo.

ps: yes i know i dont make sense. sue me :p

it is man's ability to remember, that sets us apart. we are the only species concerned with the past; how memories give us voice and bare witness to history so that others might learn, so they might celebrate our triumphs and be warned about our failures.

all stories have a happy ending... for one person or the other.

To be truly happy, a man must live absolutely in the present, no thought of what's gone before and no thought of what lies ahead. But a life with meaning, a man is condemned to wallow in the past and obsess about the future.

and tomorrow i go back to my pathetic life.

Life goes on... even in solitude.

Its how you say goodbye that matters.

tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe and he'll believe you. tell him a bench has wet paint on it and he'll have to touch to be sure.

i dont know anymore. i just dont know... about anything. i'm 23 and i have high blood pressure. who the fuck has that at this age. thats just one thing. everything is wrong with me. bet i wont even live past 40 or even tomorrow... who knows, shit happens. it happens more than less actually.
i just cant think past the fact that i might actually be cursed. i have just stopped asking for things... every fucking thing i have ever wanted so dearly has disappeared from right in front of me. always being so close to it that i could just taste it and *poof* its no more. but who gives a fuck right.

i cant sleep, i cant think clearly, i cant function properly... and they say life has just started. fucking crap... im going insane.

For 19 years, since i was born, i did Eid-ul-Fitr in Makkah. We would charter a bus, all the family friends, and go to Makkah to perform Umrah, do Eid there and then goto Madina. thats one of the major advantages of living in khajoor land.. just pack your bags and goto Makkah, just like that. I didnt realise that until i moved to Karachi. you have no idea how i miss it. the feeling, the absolute peace of mind that the sight of Ka'ba brings. its like words can define alot of things.. but i dont think words can do justice with what one feels when one is at the Masjid-ul-Haram.

The whole trip used to be an adventure in its self. even though we did it every year, sometimes twice a year.. it was always somehow different. and it was more fun year after year. i just miss those days :(

will post soon :/

apparently i can hear sounds of very high frequencies that no one else in my family can... and this clock has been making this high frequency noise for hours now and its driving me crazy :| i might throw the damn clock out when everyones asleep :/

A couple of days back... I had a long talk with a kid... well not exactly talk.. it was more like screaming and stuff, but it was a connection. I came home from my shop to find a 7-8 month year old kid sitting watching tv in the lounge.. He was my neighbour's kid. apparently he was driving his mother crazy so mom brought him home. after lunch i sat with him to watch some tv, but i had to watch what he was watching because as soon i changed the channel he started screaming :/ after one hour of screaming, gaga-goo-ing and 2 biscuits later i realized that life is as complicated as you make it. to him, all he cared about were the pretty colors on the tv and how to get his hands on my share of the biscuits (which he did actually manage to get, coz he had the upper hand at screaming :/)

As you grow up, you absorb information. alot of information. Gain experiences from different situations at different times. as time goes by, things get complicated. life gets complicated. things that used to be so simple, becomes a dilemma. Things that took us a split second to decide now takes us days to make our mind about. the point being? life is as simple as you make it to be :)

In this world there are billions of individuals living their lives in a separate world of their own. These worlds are like marbles in a pit inside a circle; in the game of marbles. Each time one marble collides with another it transfers some of its momentum and thus putting the other marble in motion, transferring energy from one marble to another. In the course of life we meet so many people and absorb some of their energy… something from their lives into our own. We can’t help but take affect from another individual near us. It’s a simple law of nature. But the game is to stay inside the circle and resist the change in momentum. Laws can be bent and worlds can merge; but the goal remains the same, to stay within the circle. If somehow the marble gets shot outside the circle... It stays out.

I hope this makes sense lol.

What is this world coming to? People are set to sell their faith for some measly pennies. People lying and deceiving their way through life. They have started to live a days life without considering the adverse affect it might cause their life tomorrow. With so much evil roaming around freely, its nearly impossible for a ‘nice’ person to remain ‘nice’, because they are taken advantage of, deceived, lied to and hurt by people for their own cause. One can take only so much till one explodes with rage and confusion. People have lost all self respect. The core of almost all problems these days is money. People are literally killing each other over it. People have perceived an unusual image of life… a very dark one, the reality of which is somewhat different… or at least is could be. Then again reality is just merely an illusion, no matter how persistent it can be.

The world is falling apart and we’re to blame… us Humans, the only being empowered with intelligence and gift of choice. Most of which use it for their own cause, their own personal gain. As time is going by, we are becoming more and more sophisticatedly savage.

Life today, everyone is longing for freedom from one thing or another. We are imprisoned in this world, held here in shackles of life and only death shall set us free. But without faith, even death shall lead us to imprisonment for eternity. When the hour comes each second speaks of Eternity.

I have nothing going for me these days. Actually nothing for more than six months now. Its like as much as I try to break free from the shadows, I still cant. I'm just stuck there looking at the light and longing to feel the warmth of the light.

Its been eating me inside for a long time now... and I just cant get over the fact why people I used to know so well.. people I spent so much time with, shared so much with... just drifted away. Lost all contact with them. Why did they leave without even saying goodbye... Then i came to a conclusion... a fact that was just staring at me... It wasn't them, it was me... I'm just a loser :)

The world is falling apart... and we're to blame.

its what we do that changes the coarse of our lives. everything that we chose not to do, well thats just lost and not important. its the actions that produce reactions. the choice is always with us. no one can make the choices for you, nor can anyone force it out of you. in the end... its you who makes it and must take responsibility for the same.

There is only one sin, only one. And that is theft. Every other sin is a variation of theft....When you kill a man, you steal a life. You steal his wife's right to a husband, rob his children of a father. When you tell a lie, you steal someone's right to the truth. When you cheat, you steal the right to fairness.

Purpose is plain.
Endurance of friendship does not depend
Upon ourselves, but upon circumstance.
But circumstance is not undetermined.
Unreal friendship may turn to real
But real friendship, once ended, cannot be mended.
Sooner shall enmity turn to alliance.
The enmity that never knew friendship
Can sooner know accord.

We must pass like smoke or live within the spirit's fire;
For we can no more than smoke unto the flame return
If our thought has changed to dream, our will unto desire,
As smoke we vanish though the fire may burn.

In the fire of love we live, or pass by many ways,
By unnumbered ways of dream to death.

i tag Heewa :p

3 things you can't do:

forget 'certain' things, speak arabic fluently, fry-chicken-without-it-bursting-into-flames :/


3 things you can do:

absorb technical jargon, see what most people fail to see, whistle :D


3 things that scare you:

ending up all alone, close places, being underwater


3 things that you love:

my family, drawing, watching movies :D


3 things you hate:

regrets, politicians, not-being-able-to-sleep-like-normal-people

Rose of memory
Rose of forgetfulness
Exhausted and life-giving
Worried reposeful
The single Rose
Is now the Garden
Where all loves end
Terminate torment
Of love unsatisfied
The greater torment
Of love satisfied
End of the endless
Journey to no end
Conclusion of all that
Is inconclusible
Speech without word and
Word of no speech
Grace to the Mother
For the Garden
Where all love ends.

Let these words answer
For what is done, not to be done again
May the judgment not be too heavy upon us

Because these wings are no longer wings to fly
But merely vans to beat the air
The air which is now thoroughly small and dry
Smaller and dryer than the will
Teach us to care and not to care
Teach us to sit still.

Pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death
Pray for us now and at the hour of our death.

Time present and time past
Are both perhaps present in time future,
And time future contained in time past.
If all time is eternally present
All time is unredeemable.

graffiti from my facebook... not bad if i do say so my self :D

stare i shall at time.. as it passes by.. wonder i shall as tides go by.. echo will those goodbyes that i heard in years that passed.. living in the past... with a lost present.. with no tomorrow that i see..

When the hour comes every second speaks of Eternity.

Fate must be defied many times in order for a person to actually be called alive. This is because only a fool clings to Fate instead of living their own lives... Fate is Never Final.

If being a kid is about learning how to live, then being a grown-up is about learning how to die. It is the unknown we fear when we look upon death and darkness. To the well-organized mind, death is but the next great adventure.

For certain is death for the born
And certain is birth for the dead;
Therefore over the inevitable
Thou shouldst not grieve.

They say if a bird poops on you its a good omen. its a sign of wealth. i got pooped on twice today.. so I better be a millionaire soon or else ima sue them pooping birds!

all that shines isnt gold... it might be platinium.

To survive in this world, we hold close to us those on whom we depend. We trust in them our hopes, our fears... But what happens when trust is lost? Where do we run, when things we believe in vanish before our eyes? When all seems lost, the future unknowable, our very existence in peril... All we can do is run.

We dream of hope. We dream of change. Of fire, of love, of death… And then it happens — the dream becomes real.

The Earth is large. Large enough that you think you can hide from anything. From Fate. From God. If only you found a place far enough away. So you run. To the edge of the Earth. Where all is safe again. Quiet, and warm. The solace of salt air. The peace of danger left behind. The luxury of grief. And maybe, for a moment, you believe you have escaped.

We are, if anything, creatures of habit. Drawn to the safety and the comfort of the similar. But what happens when the familiar becomes unsafe? When the fear that we've been desperately trying to avoid, finds us where we live?

If you're not part of the solution, then you're part of the problem. there is no middle ground. to rectify the problem and cross to the other side, might take drastic measures. the real question is how far are you willing to go? its just easy to blame someone else other than you, but the problem still remains... not in your back yard.. but it still remains.

life takes you places. lets to meet people. you cant help but make friends as you go along, have some great moments, memories devine. but it hurts to think of those moments and be able to relive it again. as you go along, you tend to realise that life is somewhat about meeting new people and letting go of the old acquantances. but its only human to hold on to the good things.

being right isnt that different from being wrong. its relative to which side you see it from. abnormalities stand out from the crowd. normality in ones life is also relative. you might think your normal... but relative to someone else, you might be the weirdo of the neighbourhood. by point being? well.. there is no point in comparing yourself with everyone else... coz you'll always end up finding someone better than you.

My brother and bhabi left for USA last sunday.. and since then house feels so empty :/ and today my cousin, and somewhat my best friend, left for Dubai. Its like an end of an era.. well not exactly.. but you know what i mean. Life goes on.

On another note, week back my friend F's mother died :/ its like without loved ones life doesn't seem worth living anymore... she feels that way though. I hope things work out for her.

I think about death alot... more than people normally do. for 18 years of my life, i never went to a funeral but ever since i came to Karachi, i have been going to a funeral every two months or so. its kinda weird to see someone one day.. and to bury him/her the next.

What do you say to a person who has lost all hopes of anything going right in his/her life? How would you even start to talk to him/her, considering you cant even imagine what that person is going through.

Every day we take alot of things for granted; people we dont show our appreciation to, things we dont care about, places we forget about. Its the things we loose, that somehow become valuable. Take time to think about the things you have and appreciate them, rather than regret about what you had or whine about what you dont have.

Death shall set us free!

Arey, you are 53% Pakistani!

Shabash puut, your score puts you in the ranks of the REAL Pakistanis! Have some lassi to celebrate - maybe it'll encourage your true character to come out more often.

How Pakistani are you? (first class number one!)
Create a Quiz

GEO website was hacked :D click >> here <<

I kinda woke up with this in my head, and i've been humming this since...

"Making your way in the world today takes everything you've got.
Taking a break from all your worries, sure would help a lot.

Wouldn't you like to get away?

Sometimes you want to go

Where everybody knows your name,
and they're always glad you came.
You wanna be where you can see,
our troubles are all the same
You wanna be where everybody knows
Your name.

You wanna go where people know,
people are all the same,
You wanna go where everybody knows
your name.'

Looking up into the dark clouds that remain so thick over. Hoping to see what the sky holds. Till it shines on you, a ray of hope!

Heewa's tag :P

three things that scare me:

1. clowns
2. close spaces
3. my rage

three people who make me laugh:

1. this uncle who lives across my friend's place
2. my cousin H
3. when in friends... i'm always laughing :P

three things i love:

1. good food
2. sci fi or fantasy movies
3. my PC

three things i hate:

1. people who lie
2. mornings that start with a head ache
3. humidity

three things i don’t understand:

1. why people go chay when they're in 'love' :/
2. commerce
3. grammar :$

three things on my desk:

1. nothing.. on one desk :p on the computer table... remote control
2. cd/mp3/radio player
3. dust cleaning thingy

three things i am doing right now:

1. wiping the sweat off my forehead :/
2. typing this tag thingy :p
3. looking at the download status and wondering when will i get unlimited DSL :(

three things i want to do before i die:

1. go back to khajoor land
2. buy the absolute ultimate PC with all the coolest goodies :D
3. meet my long lost friend A

three things i can do:

1. give geeky advises
2. drive pretty well (H)
3. listen to other people

three things you should listen to:

1. music indeed
2. bart simpson :D
3. women :/

three things i’d like to learn:

1. arabic, french and latin
2. linux
3. cook good food

three favorite foods:

1. seekh kebabs :D
2. kaari chawal
3. lasagna

three beverages i drink regularly:

1. non-alcoholic malt beverage :D
2. tea
3. apple juice

three tv shows/books i read as a child:

1. each and every cartoon... but classic loony toons cartoons were the best :D
2. Mc Guiver
3. seasame street :D

Dreams that seemed so clear turned out to be delusional hopes of a heart broken man. Nothing anyone can say or do change the utter truth; that stares at him with eyes so weary of anticipation. When world seems to stop and paths that lead to no where, is it worth walking into the darkness? Darkness can kindle thoughts that other wise tend to douse in the light. It’s a dejected feeling to be stuck in a vortex, when everyone else can seem to hyperspace through you. With shattered dreams, desolation is what to follow.

it hurts. it just hurts inside to look at someone and know his plans wont work out. even if everything around indicates the contrary, you have this gut feeling it wont. im not much proud about what i have, this gut feeling thingy. but i have it nonetheless. i can curse any situation.. just like that :/ might be coincidences.. but there have been far too many. kher.. i dont know how to write what i'm feeling right now. i'm never good with words :/

i havent found a job yet. its been 3 months now. and its not just me. almost everyone is just sitting around. there are no fucking jobs. well there are jobs but they dont offer them on 'merit'. i dont wana start that... its just depressing.

im just bored. JUST GOD DAMNED BORED! :|

Life can be very confusing at times. The number of choices one has to make through the coarse of life are just too many. The decisions one has to make, even the most smallest ones can leave an after effect that will screw up everything. Life is simple for those who make decisions with yes or no. it gets complicated when the word 'maybe' comes up.

Just about everyone these days is confused about one thing or another. I am.. aren't you?

the thing is... I DONT GIVE A FUCK ANYMORE!

Today was the convocation. Yes... i have graduated with a CGPA of 3.24.

I'm just too blank right now. but sometimes people can be so suckie :/

sometimes talking to an absolute stranger even does the trick. all you want is to unload all the thoughts trapped inside doesnt matter who you unload to, as long as its not trapped inside anymore.

These days acting like a Messiah to others has more down sides and up. its better to mind one's own business and get on with life and expect others to do the same.

Just something i came across...

Close your eyes..... And go back in time.... Before the Internet, VCD and DVD. Before semi-automatics machine guns, joyriders and crack .... Before SEGA or Super Nintendo or Video Games... Way back.... I'm talking about Hide and seek (Chhupan Chhupaee) in the park or on the streets. The corner shop, Butter Scotch Candy, Mitchells Milk Toffee, Jubilee,football with an old can, hockey, cricket and Pittu with the same ball. jumping in enormous puddles, Building dams. The smell of the sun and fresh cut grass.Mayfair bubble gum. A POLKA ice cream pop cone on a warm summer night,Wait......Watching Weekday 5pm evening or Saturday Morning cartoons... short commercials, The Tom and Jerry, He-Man, Captain Caveman, Waltron, Walligator, DangerMouse and Pink Panther.Staying up late for Night Rider, Air Wolf or Power of Methew Star. Watching nice Urdu Plays like Un Kahi, Tanhaiyaan, Sunehray Din, Aangan Tera. Walking to school, no matter what the weather. Running till you were out of breath. Laughing so hard that your stomach hurt. Jumping on the bed. Pillow fights. Climbing trees, having gola ganda stealing unripe mangoes (Karrie) from the neighbour's tree . Spinning around, getting dizzy and falling down wascause for the giggles. Being tired from playing... Remember that? The worst embarrassment was being picked last for a team. Water balloons were the ultimate weapon. I'm not finished just yet... Eating raw jelly, orange squash, ice pops.Remember when... You knew everyone in your street - and so did your parents! It wasn't odd to have two or three "best" friends. You didn't sleep a wink on EiD Chaand Raat. When 100 Rs. was decent pocket money. When you'd get a coke for 4Rs. When nearly everyone's mum was at home when the kids got there from School.It was magic when dad would "remove" his thumb. When it was considered a great privilege to be taken out to dinner! At real restaurant with your parents.We were in fear for our lives, but it wasn't because of drive-by shootings,drugs, gangs, etc. Our parents and grandparents were a much bigger threat! And some of us are still afraid of them!!! Didn't that feel good? Just to go back and say, Yeah, I remember that! Remember when.... Decisions were made by going "eeny- meeny-miney-mo." "Race issue" meant arguing about who ran the fastest. Money issues were handled by whoever was the banker in "Monopoly". The worst thing you could catch from other person was germs, and the worst thing in your day was having to sit next to opposite sex. Having a weapon in school, meant being caught with a sling shot. Nobody was prettier than your Mom. Scrapes and bruises were kissed and made better. Taking drugs meant orange-flavoured chewable aspirin. Icecream was considered a basic food group. Getting a foot of snow ! was a dream come true. Abilities were discovered because of a "double-dare". Older siblings were the worst tormentors, but also the fiercest protectors. If you can remember most of these, then you have LIVED!!!

i found my old apartment in KhajoorLand on Wikimapia :D coordinates of which are 24 41'47"N 46 39'10"E.

there is something very wrong with this blogger thingy :| it refuses to sign in when i want to actually blog :/ anyways... after like a month of streaks of bad luck with my car, i finally decided to let the darn thing go. so i sold the car and lost 1 lac :( but its kinda good though. its like this weight has been removed from my head. but i shall miss my car... but not when im driving the other car :p

it was my birthday, according to the hijri calender, yesterday.. and the day went quite well. fun even.

i cant think of anything else to blog about right now :p

Memories. ahh memories... its something that cant me touched, but can be felt everywhere. Everything you see around springs up a memory or two. during the coarse of life, not all memories gained are happy. but even the happy memories tend to hurt you.

all good things come to an end, and what your left with are its memories. four years of university were some good days. had the most fun i have ever had in my life yet. we can talk about those days for hours and hours and still the events and the situations that took place wont end.

they say the happiest of memories can be something that can keep a person living, something to hang on to when all comes lose. but its the same memories that makes you pain. here today, gone tomorrow...

we meet alot of people in our lives. alot. you befriend some. you fall in love with some. but people tend to move on. in search of better things. but what exactly makes something better than others? its how you look at it. somethings may be mere a way of life for some, for others its the most horrific thing to do. its just how you look at it. being right or wrong is relative.

someone once told me, think of the happy memories and you'll be alright. all this ever did was make me depressed. lol. this makes me a sad person. i cant forget people that i spent some time with. do those people remember me too? i'll never know. you come alone, you go alone. all you leave behind are memories.

memories are knives, it can hurt you.

Why live? when your dead inside...

i feel dead inside. very dead. i had an interview today... it didnt go that well and i dont give a fuck about it lol. i should though :p

and yes, the new interface thingy, it sucks! even if its my crappy internet, it still sucks!

I have been looking forward to weekends past few weeks. mostly because i have nothing to do at home at night, weekend is the only night when i go out with friends, and time just flys by. even if its just sitting around and talking. and occasionally picking on someone :p

its sad that the National Shipping Corporation building has been burning since 9am. its pathetic actually, because after all these years we dont have the proper equipment to extinguish fires in a building above the 10th floor. its the basic things we lack here. they are planning to build high rises and here they cant extinguish a fire on a building, like paah!

i believe that necessities should be given priorities over luxury. hell everyone does. they are spending billions in obscure over passes running all around the city, high rises, huge parks etc..lower class people dont give a shit nor will it make their lives any better... while there are areas with no proper roads, lack of fresh water, low literacy, lawlessness and the list just goes on and on. why not concentrate on the necessities of today than trying to grasp the luxuries of tomorrow.

the rich continue to grow richer, and the poor poorer. the middle class is soon to disappear and join the upper or lower class.

I cant get enough of this non-alcoholic malt beverage or... well.. beer you can say. Everyone I know hates it though. They cant even taste it. But I simply love it. May be partly because its bitter. I have developed a knack for bitterness. its funny though. when i was little, i used to have alot of sweets and 'sugary' things. like quite a lot of it. and now... well.. now i hardly have anything sweet anymore. i have just lost taste for it.

kher... I'm not pissed anymore though. instead i have grown numb to everything happening around me. i still don't have a job :/ its been over a month since unishitty ended. results aren't out either. I'm seriously doubting if four years of unishitty was worth it here.

On a brighter note, my head is empty right now. no random thoughts going about and stuff... its kinda hard to explain, but its kind of good. nothing more to 'blog' about.

This day was one of the most suckiest day of my life... life was getting shittier day by day, but the shit factor just crossed the limits today.

During the coarse of life, one faces many harsh realities of life. all of which add to the experience of one's mind so not to repeat the same mistakes twice... and your just stupid to repeat the same mistake twice. but being human, your bound to make em anyways. its just how it is.

One of the harsh realities of life is... nice guy finishes last. there is no place for nice people in this 'world'. you might argue this notion, but unless you did'nt notice; no one gives a fuck?... at one point or another, people will take advantage of the 'nice' guy. people will keep doing that coz its just easy to do. its these points in one's life that makes him change his perception of life. in the beginning, life is quite straight forward. in his naiveness, everything is so beautiful and so innocent like himself.... then shit happens, and he is compelled to think otherwise. think... what if its not like that. what if its a lie. still he tries to maintain his order of thoughts... but then shit happens again. and again. till he doesn't know what to think. that is when a person is lost. lost for words. lost for thoughts.

One should always have good intentions. one should. but does the other person have the same? apparently, these days, not. its a materialistic world out there. no place for morals and ethics. hell people might discourage these entities from society.

right now im pissed. i've been pissed for some days now, but this day just did it. i dont care much about money. really i dont. its here today, gone tomorrow. so what is the sense of getting crazy over it? what pissed me today was that there is no decency left in people anymore. they just want it all, and they want it the fast way. shortcut as to say. people will do anything for it. 'anything'. and sadly it is money that makes the world go around these days.

I missed by sister's surprise birthday party because of the incident today :( and that pissed me off even more.


right now i want to be anywhere but here. life has changed me drastically. and im just afraid that i'll change into something that i have always hated.

i used to think, people move away from me. its not like that. its me who push them away. after all, so many people cant be wrong.

i was dead tired when i finally came home. that was five hours ago. but i couldnt sleep. i was just too pissed to sleep, or to do anything else for that matter. and now that i have unloaded some thoughts, hopefully i might sleep a while. though i still have alot of random thoughts boggling up my head. i cant put them to words. i dont know how to. and yes. Happy fucking Valentine's day.

i did some changes to my blog :D but it still isnt the way i want it :/ i seem to have forgotten how to use frontpage :| i think im going dumb day by day.. and that isnt good. i didnt go through four years of unishitty for this damnit!

nothing much is going on these days though apart from the fact that windows vista zaleeled my PC :(

i need a change. any kind of change. change is good. but its not in my nature to change.. i dont change that easily, nor do i want to change. which leads me back to where i began... no where :p i tend to mumble in this particular state of mind. and still i can never speak my mind. i will never talk about everything that on my mind. i just cant. i like to keep it inside than to spill my beans to someone else who wont be around tomorrow. i have seen to many people leave so i guess somewhere in my head, i have decided that every person i meet will just go away one day.

i had this jaali folder in my cell phone with all kind of quotes, dialogues and single-liners. i lost them all though when my cell went for repairs :/

in the end, let me just get this out of my head...
Human Beings are designed for many things... but loneliness is not one of them.

i cant forget people. i just cant. nor can i let em go that easily. and that is just sad...

laughter depression... an interesting notion. it is true though. people who laugh too much feel like shit later :/

i hate this feeling of worthless-ness :/ day in day out its the same and damn im bored :| when it was unishitty had no time to do anything else.. now i cant find that 'anything else' that i so wanted to do :p

the thing i dont get (although there alot of other things i dont get but lets not go there as of yet :p) is why my PC refuses to stay alive for more than 6 months :/ i see my friend's PCs working flawlessly for years and then i look at mine. afraid of even moving it that it might break down :p

i cant think of anything else to 'blog' about right now.. may be later. right now im just too bored :/

somewhat a year since i posted last. i kind of lost interest in blogging, though i know it quite well how its a place to unburden my thoughts. well thats how i am, suddenly i lose interest in stuff... but i keep thinking about it.

nothing has changed much, apart from the fact that im done with my bachelors, awaiting results though.

hanging out with friends really gives you peace of mind... even if most of the time we'r argueing about one thing or another :P i have some great laughs with friends... but laughing alot has its downside.. when your alone, you feel like shit :| dont know why, its just how it is.

its a new year. a new beginning. thus it should mark the end of the 'old' me and start of a 'new' me. doesnt make much sense to you... but its crystal clear to me :)

i still dont get it. why do people i know so well, just dissappear from my life :/ or may be i never knew them at all. quite alot of random thoughts :p

i need to get a job. i know that, but still people keep telling me that :/ it quite annyoing now. four years of unishitty and im sitting home, because suddenly people decided that the market for electronic engineers is saturated :/ but i havent lost hope, as the 'shareef' way isnt working... ima pull some strings. thats how this country works.

after 3 years away from saudia, ive come to realise how i loved that place :( how i would give anything for a visit. though i doubt if i would like to live there again. because quite frankly its boring there.. but what i miss is the peace... the Umrahs.. how i miss those Eids in Makkah :( for 18 years, without a miss, i spent the Eid-ul-Fitr in Makkah. most of the Riyadhians would be there.. and it was so much fun. i just didnt realise that when i was there. you dont realise alot of things untill you dont have it anymore :/ its human nature. it sucks though!

everyone i meet assumes that i'll be getting engaged soon. or they just tell me to get engaged now that im farigh from unishitty. as intriguing as it may sound :p i dont want to.

i wana get a job. i want all the luxuries i had back in saudia.. i wana give my parents all the luxuries they had in saudia. they were there most of their lives, they've become used to them. and i shall one day INSHALLAH give all that back to them. from all those who walked away from my life, one thing is for sure... my parents wont be one of them. beautiful people they are. just beautiful :)

enough for a come back blog :p
till we meet again
may the force be with you :D